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The “three kick rule” of BPM

Blog: Adam Deane - Business Process and Workflow

It was one of those never ending projects.

The technical team built the workflow quickly… but the business team kept changing it.

One day, the manager of the business team demanded another workflow change.
Unfortunately for him, the IT manager was on his day off.
Vladimir, the senior programmer, was in charge of the IT department for the day.

Vladimir, an old guy, born in rural Russia, had a lot of experience in managing IT projects, and had an ‘interesting’ approach to solving project problems.

three kick rule of bpm

So the business manager was quite surprised when old Vladimir told him he could not change the workflow any more.

The young business manager stormed down to the IT department. “I want the workflow changed, and I don’t care what it takes – I want those changes!!”

The old programmer replied, “Sorry, but this is my department today and I’ll decide what is changed, and what’s not.”

The indignant business manager said, “I am one of the best managers in the company and, if you don’t let me get my workflow changes, I’ll go to the CEO and get you fired!!

The old programmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes here in the IT department. We settle all disagreements here with the “Three Kick Rule.”

The business manager asked, “What is the Three Kick Rule?”

The old programmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurred here in the IT department, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”

The young business manager quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger.
He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old programmer slowly got up from his chair and walked up to the business manager.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed boot into the business manager’s groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the midriff sent the business manager’s last meal gushing from his mouth.
The business manager was on all fours when the old programmer’s third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into the recycling bin.

The young business manager summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old fart. Now it’s my turn.”

The old programmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the workflow changed…”

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